But Baby what do ya luv?

The R.A Piece of the Puzzle.Does it need to be in my space?

This is the title of a post at an Art Blog:
entitled, " Papiers Colles, Creative Collage and Mixed Media Musings,"

The Society for the Humane Treatment of

Old Memories

I had written earlier in my first list about if in someway specifically assisting other survivors of Ritualistic Abuse would be a part of my " Having - it- all.

and the truth is: I don't know. Not at this time.

I think that survivors of extreme abuse and torture have so many phases of recovery and healing to move thru. Each phase lasts as long as the individual needs it to. Anger and Rage have thier place as a neccessary part of healing, the point is not to drown in it and be able to cycle into the next stage.
*
I have from time to time thought of telling my story at the Rape and Sexual Abuse Center. Its just that my identity is not just my abuse story but who I became in spite of it.
so I'm not so sure of its importance right now.
On the other hand, I do-
Maybe its the Vocal " Telling the Story" is some thing that I want to do unless I do it as a a means of educating Therapists As i have been mulling on this overnight , Performing, writing, and and artistically rendering my story is more preferable.

To me it has become very political and i wonder if I need to
integrate it into my Art instead. Its political nature I feel in my skin and

quite seem to

elaborate on this.

So I read and study more........

Pulling it together.

Click here >>> to go the " Find Five Random Objects Show"...

So when I have read all that has been put into this blog so far on Healing Splits? It is not about finding my voice: as i have discovered it. Perhaps its about that space where I can experiment
with my voices ( languages) , and i refer to voices as the multi- faces of the arts within myself. I believe that when i do that I will continue to unravel the inner mistery of my own language and the Mumbi within . It is my wish to play within the language of my creation.

As so well articulated by a Blog commentator it Maybe also about knowing my own personal power. Reclaiming power is that, it is an act, but to know one's power. To feel it . Especially in the Artistic realm, the experiential and kinesthetic realm is a different Area of reclamation. Maybe because " to know" is cerebral" and to feel knowledge is a bodily manifestation.

This integration allows me to open the door.

With this Process travels a personal manifesto ; a need, to advocate and create ground of affirmation to all who need the space to discover, create or maintain thier own cultural/ personal language. It was this manifesto that I nurtured while working my 18 years with the Department of Patient Affiars at Vanderbilt Medical Center and encountered again while working with the Hispanic Achievers Group, Fathers in Prison, Children of Incarcerated Parents and others.

Language: A Voice

I found this Blog : English Language Teaching and Linguistics and found this to be an interesting site as the English is being learned by Turkish Students, who
have an insightful view of language and lingustics.

a commenter writes:

:Language is a mean based on mental and spiritual processes and social conditions to express and exchange thoughts, imaginations, cognitions, feelings and informations. It is also a symbolic interaction and a kind of behavior. It is our language which makes us to human beings, because it is a system of social norms, allowing us to live together in a community

.I would define language as a device to communicate. And as you know, you have to know how your device is working. It is important to use your device effectively. A saying says: “If you do not know the power of words, you can not imagine how powerful persons might be. Thus the usage of our language is very significant. If you know playing with language or words you are able to master almost everything, but if you do not know how to handle with, you can not even gain self knowledge not to mention success.

Briefly concerning the abstract aspect I would define language as a matter of opinion, it is one’s ideology or world outlook for Ludwig Wittgenstein says: “The borders of my language are the borders of my life”.
Sine Demirkıvıran

and another,

WHAT İS LANGUAGE? Language is a sound system with which we express our thouts,ideas,emotions and also we can understand what the others say.ıt help us think. By means of language we interact with other people.

Besides,language is everything of a nation. Culture,politics, tradition of a nation are shaped thanks to the language.What the role of water is to human beings the language is the same for a nation. It is surely and mostly is the major yearning of a human being.

All science,literature,tecnology develope by means of language.Language and humanbeing go together.The longer a nation's language lives the longer a nation lives.
AYŞE NİHAL İBAŞ

Finally,
takejiro said...

language is art and we are artists. so, it is your choice:
yılanı deliğinden çıkaracak mısın, yoksa başı mı kestireceksin?... ( Turkish)

The Objects.

Here in my wide open space.
My Room as wide as my Heart.
As big as my any world that I create
In my Space Transcendence Breathes like an emerald Welsh Dragon.

Multiculturism.
This has always been a ribbon thru all of my various work and personal interests. It has weaved an intrinic web in me and i haven't quite integrated whats it's meaning thru and to myself yet.
Yet, one thing that I can say is that its knowledge and affirmation is of the utmost importance to me. ( maybe I'll write why more later)
and in that light I have found a lovely site on African Art and Written Word entitled: African Painters.

Here in this big wide open space.
I will place my objects of Transcendence.

Oh Yea The Door !

I have a small little slip of paper from an Interplay retreat last March , in nice script it says, " Honor your Door ways." This sits next to my Bhudda holding the stone, " desire" in his palms.
I am reading a Book entitled, " Penpoints, Gunpoints, and Dreams" Towards a Critical Theory of the Arts and The State in Africa , written by Kenyan Writer, Ngugi wa Thiong'O .

" In history the appearance of art in human life precedes the emergence of the state. There were body decorations, rock drawings, songs and dances long before even the rudimentary forms of state. The state as we know it has not always existed."

I had found it fasinating that God and Art were One Integrated Concept and that there was no distinction between the two.

The Gikuyu word for the Artist is : Mumbi
meaning the one who moulds, the creator

Mumbi wa Iguru na thi: the creator of heaven and earth and the first Artist.

Maker of pots
Maker of images

In the same language it also covers the 3 senses of Mumbi:
nature, nurture and the human imagination.

Of the Agikuyu people of Kenya , the voice of the singer of good words was really the voice of " God".

He writes, " Absolute Art is for the celebration of absolute motion, which is life" and before this he writes, Art is always reminding the present of the obvious: even you shall pass this way again. A colonial state and a neo-colonial state, which are variants of an absolutist state... will enevitable come into conflict with any words and images that embody change. The Absolute state is for the absolute cessation of motion, which is death."

So here I write about " The Voice" and its meaning as one of the many facets . Soul Maker- Body Maker- Creator- Mumbi- Pot Maker- Maker of the Heart Beat, Planet Drum Maker and The One who makes my Flesh Dance.

Within the Collective Framework of Colonization is the Colonization of the Body and the Mind.

It's the deconstruction of the " Beautiful One within Ones Self" is to loose ones Voice and language that fills the air . It is an open space. Not Theatre, Not a Gallery, Not a House, and not a room.

It is an open Space- an open Performance Space where within its open borders I have been able to experiment , create and construct a new voice.

In the Beginning there was an Invocation.

Calling the Animal Spirits
a chant by Ananaia

( I think of this as an invocation to the Healing of Body/Spirit)


Animal Spirits join me here Raven, hawk & owl draw near.
Fly with me.Help me seeThe Way of Beauty.

Fly with me!Fly high with me! Fly with me! Fly high with me!
Animal Spirits join me here

Puma, lizard, snake draw near.
Walk with me. Help me see The Way of Beauty.
Walk with me! Walk close with me! Walk with me! Walk close with me!

Animal Spirits join me here Salmon, whale & frog draw near.

Swim with me.
Help me seeThe Way of Beauty.

Swim with me! Swim deep with me! Swim with me! Swim deep with me!
Animal Spirits join me here Bison, deer & wolf draw near.

Be with me.Help me seeThe Way of Beauty.

Be with me!Be here with me!Be with me!Be here with me!

Integration.

I supose that i can be quite analytical and need to challenge myself with the word
"Integration ". What does it mean to me ? , as it has meant many different things at various personal milestones and specifically what is its meaning is to me in my work/ study/ Playstory within Interplay.

I have integrated past and present and know thru my body what it is like to
tread hand in hand with the past thru the present and into the future. It can be a delicate dance, a throbbing estatic dance of union, a leap off a face of a canyon into the darkness below only to be recieved by a soft green river bed. It is to live daily with the knowledge of human darkness in its most primal form and still live. It is all this and more.

Notes from the 1st Class.

Session 1. Healing Splits- What if I am integrated and already have it all?


My notes from the 1st class

healing /Split > where r my splits?
a. Past and Present

If there were fewer splits between past and present I would utilize strengths and my personal story to assist and lighten the way for other R.A survivors....

1. Present > What do I love

If.... between present and " what I love (?) I spent time writing about what I love I'd spend time writing What have I discovered lately lately that fill me with wonder and soulfullness. How would I discover new things.

2. Having more Fullment

3. Having it all " Balance" This leads to > the question.. When am i out of Balance?
Can i feel it?


Thought: " Aimlessness vs. Artfullness